the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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