My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
