I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
