i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
