i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
