Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
