apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
