benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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