Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
