Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
