So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
