Just fell off a train. Bad.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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