are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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