Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
