What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
