i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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