Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
