everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
