He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
