During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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