they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
