He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
