I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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