dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
