we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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