just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
