ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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