I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
