I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
