She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
