do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
