Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
