She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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