the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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