What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
