I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
