apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
