WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
