Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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