Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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