there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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