Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
