I heard we made out
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
