It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
