I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
