life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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