I don't think brook has ever known best
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
