i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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