i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize