Ambien. No doubt about it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
