ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
