Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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