We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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