she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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