i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize