I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
