addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
