I showed him my bush... on skype.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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